Day 11 – Failure & Goals

black and white photography, Portrait photography, street photography

On my trip, me and my friend decided to walk from our hotel to the beach which was about an hour and forty-five minutes away. So this shot at the beach is a sign of victory of achieving that small goal. I took a few more shots at the beach that I will share later. I like this shot. There is a good amount of fog and the horizon isn’t in the center of the shot. I was simply focusing on trying to capture the birds flying away . A very natural shot.

Didn’t do much today which is why I consider today a failure, however, that’s do to me being critical of myself. I did review hiragana and katakana before work and was more social at work than normal. The failure comes down to the fact that after coming home from work I just took a nap until dinnertime then took another nap and it was 8pm. I have a 5am to 2pm shift tomorrow so I did my best to cram a decent amount of stuff in the last two hours so I can still make a little improvements.

My main focus was setting up a plan that I can follow. I did a rough draft of one but I will do research tomorrow and compile a better plan and the motivation and dedication I will need to fulfil the plan. On an another note, I did show up here and wrote a post so that’s a plus in my book as well. It’s been 11 days, I am surprised that I was able to write while on my trip with the shaky hotel wifi and the lagging data. I had to upload without photos then go back and add the photos because they can’t failing to upload.

It just shows me that its simply a matter of me putting in the work. I can continue to write for this blog as long as I want to as long as I put time into it and force myself to sit down even when I don’t want to or when I try to submit to my guilty pleasures. I know that now and will continue to try to improve my mental game and my focus on the things that I need to do and what I have to do in order to achieve the creative goals I have and the life that I want.

On a side note, I might be going back to SF in October to go watch BabyMetal in concert there. They will play in Sacramento but the tickets cost 200+ dollars for a basic seat as they will be performing with Slipknot. So I’m going for the SF one (hopefully) after talking with my co-worker who brought up that BabyMetal will be in SF.

I’ll end it here for now. Gotta take action and give my brain some rest to kick ass tomorrow.

Sleep well and kick ass,

David

Day 10 – Keep On Keepin’ On

street photography

For some reason, I often take photos of security cameras. I really liked the wall and the shadow of this camera so I snapped a few shots from different angles. My trip to SF was really about exploring anyway. I really like this shot as well, I like how I able exploring new possibilities with subjects that are not normally captured.

So in a bit of good times, I was able to write my first short story in a while. It’s simply entitled “Boy” and is only one page long. However, I am proud that I created this short story. I am happy that I sat down and got to work. It’s not the length of the story but the quality that matters to me. I truly liked the result but will still edit it before showing it to anyone. I feel better and more confident than ever but I still have a feeling that self-doubt will creep into my life faster than a thirsty man sliding into a Kardashians DM.

I’m looking into developing the proper keys in order to keep my self-confidence on point. I know I will fail at times because everyone hits a snag. But I will work my ass off trying to improve myself as a man and as a creator. So far, I have some good internal results but now comes the external results. I have to seek opportunities and not just let them come to me. I have to get out there and not let a single opportunity pass me by due to laziness or a lack of self-confidence.

A single step is all it takes to start a real journey and I’m taken that step many times to just take a few steps back to many reasons. I don’t want to live like that so no matter what I want take those steps back no matter how much I want to seek back into a safety net. I don’t want to die working in retail, I don’t want to die having never been to Japan, I don’t want to die without have been a husband and a father, I don’t want to die without creating something truly touching. I don’t want to live an unfilled life as I have done that ever since I became an adult and even when was a teenager sleeping the day away or playing videos all day and never truly studying.

I should have been to Japan already but I haven’t..yet.. I have made plans to go to Japan sometime next year. So I’m pinching pennies everywhere that I can while still pursuing self-improvement and a life that I truly want to live. So the moral of this rant is that I am taking action towards achieving my dreams. As a kid I wanted to go to Japan and I will be going to Japan when I am 28 years old. It doesn’t matter how long it takes as long as you get there. The journey is key the destination is the light at the tunnel but there’s even more to explore once you do reach the light.

Will be seeking out writing opportunities and pursuing a job that grants me creative control while pursuing a freelance career and trying to improve myself. So I’m going to be a busy man, I just fully realize that I don’t want to be a scrub. Will be seeking out writing opportunities and pursuing a job that grants me creative control while pursuing a freelance career and trying to improve myself. So I’m going to be a busy man, I just fully realize that I don’t want to be a scrub. I want to live a full life. I was meant to write, I was meant to take photos, I was meant to love, I was meant to bridge different cultures, and I was meant to make an impact on someone’s life. Those are my newfound beliefs and I will write them down everyday to get it through my thick skull when times are tough.

Peace,

David

Day 7 – Paths

black and white photography, street photography

What path will you take? One of the first shots I took while entering the Japanese Tea Garden in San Francisco for the second time. I really love the atmosphere and I hope this simple shot can reflect a bit of it. It’s not the type of shot that I would normally show unless my reserves were low. However, at this moment of time this image was the best to showcase my mental state as I try to create my own path.

I wasn’t sad to leave San Francisco but I was sad to leave new experiences. I had a whole lot of fun there and would love to go back. However, sadness only hit me once I started to edit the photos I took of the trip. Not sobbing sad but a mere I didn’t get the meal that I wanted sad. I came to the realization that I need to travel and experience the world. So I’m planning trips to Phoenix AZ, Portland OR, Seattle WA, Canada, Salt Lake City UT, Japan, South Korea, and Thailand. I don’t have they money of course but I am beginning to flesh out how much money I will need for each trip. Right now, it’s a dream of mine. So that in itself, is an improvement.

While I was on the bus heading home from SF, I didn’t know what to do with myself once I entered my room. So I decided in my mind I would Marie Kondo my bookshelf and I did just that. I forced myself to start laundry, put everything I bought away, and did a few things before I allowed myself to lay down on my bed. Today, I did the same thing. After working, I forced myself to wash the bowl I bought plus all of my cups and download my photos then delete the bad things only to upload the approved ones to google drive. It doesn’t seem like much but it’s a start.

I also returned to work today, even though I was more tired than normal I am glad that I did. My co-worker, Dan, told me that he put in his two week notice but he decided he’ll just quit during lunch as he was tired of this place. As he embraced me in a hug with his giant biceps, I was sad but happy that he was escaping. I know he is achieving his dream. We talked for a minute and I made him a promise that I would pursues my dreams and escape this place as well. So I have to work even harder as I am doing my best to be a man of my word. He wished me luck as I did to him and I left the backroom only looking back once.

Me and Dan won’t close but we shared a few in depth discussions and were good co-workers. He was always willing to give me health advice and even seem bothered by my questions. I wish him luck.

I also decided to start a lifestyle blog and to leave my workplace before the end of this year. I will be looking hard for a new job that will give me enough time to focus on my crafts and/or actually involve my passions. Right now, all I can do is continue to improve myself. I don’t feel as lost anymore as I somehow know what I want to do. I hope that I can truly act upon it as two paths may merge into one without me realizing it. I am creating paths that’s is also why I chose to display the photo above. Dream big and aim high.

Peace and sleep well,

David

Day 6 – Return & Rest: A Short Entry

street photography

A shot that I took on my second trip to SF. On my third trip, me and my friend walked through this tunnel a few times. It was a somewhat peaceful experience was one aspect of my trip that I truly enjoyed.

I finally returned home around 3pm. I wasn’t hit with crippling sadness like last time. I truly enjoyed myself on the trip, I am proud that I pushed myself past my limits, I experienced a lot of things for the first time, and was truly open to new experiences. I got to meet a former Oakland Raiders player, saw classic American muscle cars in Chinatown, Alcatraz surrounded by fog, and so many other things. I am only now hit with a slight sadness as I sat down to write this. I’m so ready for the next trip, even if I have to go solo. You never know what may happen in life.

I did make a few mistakes but was able to fix them while in SF. I felt like I improved myself a bit. I feel a bit more responsible and independent. As soon as I got home, I started laundry, Marie Kondo’d my bookshelf then put everything that I bought on the trip away. I didn’t just lay down, I forced myself to complete the task before I took a nap. Even now, before falling asleep another time, I made sure that I could still write this post before sleeping. I have to be at work at 5am. After this trip, I realized how lucky I am after seeing all those homeless people in SF. I realized how I can’t be lazy anymore and will focus on developing a good work ethic as I pursue my dreams.

I’ll write more tomorrow, as I need to get some more rest before the start of my work week. Peace and sweet chasing,

David

Day 3 – Arrival

black and white photography, street photography

This is a pic I took the first time I went to San Francisco but felt its randomness fits how I feel at the moment. This was taken in an alley in Chinatown. My friend lost his debit card so we stopped in this alley to make sure it wasnt in his bed. So this simple shot has a deeper meaning to me. Me and my friends can laugh about this moment now.

I’m alive and well in SF. It’s the first day and it has gone great. The place we picked for dinner wasn’t good. But me and my friend shared a great conversation. Talked about the bro stuff, it was a good start to this trip. He also got a new job offer that made him tear up. So it’s now a celebration trip as well as a time to relax.

I find this city to be so beautiful but it’s the cracks of this beauty lays a real problem. I won’t go into it but if you come here yourself you will see what I mean.

Day 1 is over in a fewminutes. So I’ll end it here and say peace!.

Enjoy life,

David

Day 7 – Light the Night

black and white photography, street photography

I took this shot to experiment how well my camera handles very low light situations. It holds up pretty good but I need more practice.

Did not nap today which is a high improvement. I simply kept moving as I dedicate myself to my purpose and journey. Hanging out my two best friends watching IP Man and drinking at this moment. I enjoy these simple moments of friendship. I’ll cut this short as I am enjoying this moment. I have improved in a few areas but I am waiting to see if I can keep them up before I share then.

Peace,

David

Day 5 – Keep Going

street photography

Experimental shot that I took at night at a pier in San Francisco. I wanted to capture the locks so I took normal shots with a high ISO but it really wasn’t working. So I popped the flash up and took a shots and somehow I was able to create this shot. I didn’t edit this shot besides possibly cropping it a bit.

Working hard on improving my fitness and finding out what lays at my core. I am putting in a lot of sweat and pain in order to achieve my goals. I am finding some success but I have to attack the fundamental problem of my purpose. I am working on my mental game in pursuit of becoming a better man. It’s hella hard but its worth it.

I don’t know where to look but I know I will forever be lost if I continue to look so far into the future. I will just take one step at a time and move forward.

Peace,

David