Portrait photography

This is the second time that I’ve seen this man this year. On my first trip to San Francisco with my friends and the second time with one of the same friends. He’s dedicated to his craft and I still remember his smile from the first time we met when he held up his instrument and said “You can take a picture with your camera”. I didn’t take his offer last time but on the second trip I did. Surely, I’m 100% sure he didn’t remember me but I remembered him.

Dedication -A little essay

It sure is hard to work on your passions, but boy is it harder to work a job you absolutely hate while half-assing your passions. I currently work a dead end job in retail that I hate. I am able to hype myself up for work but when I start to work at this job I loathe every moment of it. The only time I truly enjoy is when I am able to conversate with my three friends that work there. I work hard and simply wish for the time to go by. The loss of precious seconds of my life working at that store hurts me more than anything currently in my life.

I see a co-worker/friend who has worked at this company for six years and was the person who trained me when I was first employed a year ago. This co-worker has a lovely family and is a truly hard-worker but he’s struggling mentally. He has the same hobbies as me so at times I seer him as the person I’ll become if I stay at this company. My other friend is a department manager and has been at the company for four years. We recently became friends and she’s shared with me that she likes the money she is making but wants to make an impact on people as she feels like this is not the place to be.

I can continue to list out other things that I’ve heard from other people but I think you get the gist of it. I love the fact that I have money in the bank and I can be independent, however, I don’t love this lifestyle. I work an early shift so by the time I get home I am tried. I take a nap that may last 30 minutes or 3 hours. I binge watch anime, movies, or YouTube videos. I lose myself so frequently in these acts that I forget that I am truly alive. Even today on my off day, I walked a few miles outside then watched YouTube and had a few naps.

This laziness will be the death of me. I can’t lie and say I wasn’t this way before this job. AS I was a NEET for two years. Thus I haven’t truly experienced a whole lot in my life. I have passions but I don’t always pursue them everyday, however, when I decide to sit down and write I have to pull myself from the task or when I take photos I have to stop myself from drowning in the passion. So I do know what I love and what I don’t. The only problem is my lack of dedication. I’ve been a serial cheater, so absorbed into other peoples lives that I put my passions on the shelves and watch them collect dust then complain about how they get dusty so quick.

I have everything I need in my room. I have Japanese language learning books so I can finally master the language, I have a tripod and a Nikon D3300 so I can snap away, I have a gaming laptop I bought to edit photos and to write, I have 6 notebooks in order for me to write, I have internet access, food, and a roof over my head. I have to get it through my thick skull that If I hate something so much I have to do something about it and I have to simply decide. I have to decide what is most important to me and not worry about the how. Stop planning and just focus on doing the act that I declare my ikigai.

I can’t say that I won’t mess up and that I won’t quit. But I have to do this. In order for me to pursue happiness and to truly live the life that I want.


black and white photography, Portrait photography


Another quick portrait of my friend as he drives us to San Francisco. I couldn’t imagine that I would have two good friends and those two friends would become friends as well. I also can’t believe that I would actually go on a trip with other people. I can honestly say going to San Francisco was one of the best experiences of my life. I hope that I am able to go back with these guys. Someday I’ll go back on my own and explore but I would truly be grateful if the two of them would still be my friends in the future.

Enjoy true friendship,




P.S. not my best portrait but I’m practicing and doing my best to improve.

Beautiful Escape

black and white photography, Portrait photography


Took this shot of my friend while we were arriving in San Francisco. I really enjoyed it as I know he’s one depressed mofo and that moments where all three friends can hang out are moments where he doesn’t have to be in that mindset. So I would title this photo as “beautiful escape”.

I don’t take many photos of people but I am doing  my best to change that. Focusing on portraits in order to further my skills. Hopefully, I can continue to express myself and others through my shots.

D94 – Immortal

black and white photography, Portrait photography, street photography

IMG_20180331_180046-01.jpeg A spur of the moment shot I took while on a long journey. There has been a lot of road work being done thus there is a lot of words being spray painted on the ground. I like the shadow from my leg and how my foot nearly touches the arrow. Either I will turn left or defy directions. This is me exploring the possibilities of street photography and me becoming more comfortable in front of the camera.

Felt better today but I have a feeling I will need to take things slow tomorrow as well. I was able to do more today, we will have to see how I feel tomorrow. Was able to shoot some baskets and do a little bag work. Im slowly pushing my body by doing flexibility training plus learning more effective stretches. Just focused on paving my path and fixing my health.

Stay true to you,


D70 – Feel and Suffer

black and white photography, Portrait photography, street photography

Daring myself to do more self-portraits as an experiment. I have noticed an increase in my confidence in myself and my photography. I like to explore the world, I ofen allow myself to get lost. Often I don’t bring my main camera, as I often leave when it’s very bright outside. I will the nex time I go on an adventure.

I was able to move up a gear but I put myself back down another gear. I still made progress but not much as I would have liked. I see this as me going backwards to move forward. It is a saying that I discovered for myself when I used to play video games a lot in my teens. I simply have to force myself more and more while doing the best work I can. The key is that I need to suffer. I need to suffer to feel life, to suffer through my work, and suffer through my fears to move ahead in life. There have been many setbacks but I will charge on until I can’t go up anymore gears. When I die I want to be able to die happy for a cause and be carried out on a shield. Not as a symbol of saddness but as a symbol of strength, courage, and honor. I am a man and I am a warrior fighting for his cause until the day he dies.

Be a warrior and suffer,


Day 63 – Rest as a Champion

black and white photography, Portrait photography, street photography

LRM_20180127_104129.jpgA little something different today. This photo was taken on a 4 mile walk I took with a family member who was happy enough to pose for me. I’m still learning but I enjoyed the process of directing a model and taking photos of someone else.

Today, I’ve learned a lot. I was able to discover that I truly need to rest physically and stretch my body out even more. I do yoga once in a while but I need to do it every other day or at least a few times in a week. Anyway, I am exploring my mind and body as I go through the process of self improvement.

My next task is a self assigned writing assignment that I am doing. I have to be brutally honest with myself and write down the truths that I secretly acknowledge but don’t want to accept.

I had a good amount of fun today and went through a few challenges but I still love the process.

Go after your goals and kick ass like Rocky,


Day 40 – Experiment

nature, Portrait photography


This photo was taken near seven pm in a field surrounded by a simple dullness the suburbs. I felt the field to be beautiful, I was used as a model for a few photos and also took photos of her in the field. It was the first time I worked with a “model”. It was a wonderful experience to learn from. I learned how to experiment with a short time amount of time. I enjoy the feeling of warmth from this photo. I took it a while ago but just edited it yesterday. I hope to be able to do much more people photography.

Go out and experiment,