D70 – Feel and Suffer

Daring myself to do more self-portraits as an experiment. I have noticed an increase in my confidence in myself and my photography. I like to explore the world, I ofen allow myself to get lost. Often I don’t bring my main camera, as I often leave when it’s very bright outside. I will the nex time I go on an adventure.

I was able to move up a gear but I put myself back down another gear. I still made progress but not much as I would have liked. I see this as me going backwards to move forward. It is a saying that I discovered for myself when I used to play video games a lot in my teens. I simply have to force myself more and more while doing the best work I can. The key is that I need to suffer. I need to suffer to feel life, to suffer through my work, and suffer through my fears to move ahead in life. There have been many setbacks but I will charge on until I can’t go up anymore gears. When I die I want to be able to die happy for a cause and be carried out on a shield. Not as a symbol of saddness but as a symbol of strength, courage, and honor. I am a man and I am a warrior fighting for his cause until the day he dies.

Be a warrior and suffer,


Self image

Step 4 of the plan to help my depression and anxiety through photography is taking shots of yourself. It could be of your hand, reflection, etc. No one else, which is the difficult part. We tend to shy away from taking photos of ourselves as we are our worst critics. It’s a habit we must break but that is up to you and time. We must accompany the photos with a essay of sorts explaining our story. 

It’s great a way to show who you truly are in the world. We all need that to truly feel alive. It’s time to let go of the negative emotions and move on. Thus I will be doing a series of shots with me as the model in some form. Its a challenge I’m willing to take. Both activities will be tough but I’m so looking forward to the process more than the actual destination.