Day 11 – Failure & Goals

black and white photography, Portrait photography, street photography

On my trip, me and my friend decided to walk from our hotel to the beach which was about an hour and forty-five minutes away. So this shot at the beach is a sign of victory of achieving that small goal. I took a few more shots at the beach that I will share later. I like this shot. There is a good amount of fog and the horizon isn’t in the center of the shot. I was simply focusing on trying to capture the birds flying away . A very natural shot.

Didn’t do much today which is why I consider today a failure, however, that’s do to me being critical of myself. I did review hiragana and katakana before work and was more social at work than normal. The failure comes down to the fact that after coming home from work I just took a nap until dinnertime then took another nap and it was 8pm. I have a 5am to 2pm shift tomorrow so I did my best to cram a decent amount of stuff in the last two hours so I can still make a little improvements.

My main focus was setting up a plan that I can follow. I did a rough draft of one but I will do research tomorrow and compile a better plan and the motivation and dedication I will need to fulfil the plan. On an another note, I did show up here and wrote a post so that’s a plus in my book as well. It’s been 11 days, I am surprised that I was able to write while on my trip with the shaky hotel wifi and the lagging data. I had to upload without photos then go back and add the photos because they can’t failing to upload.

It just shows me that its simply a matter of me putting in the work. I can continue to write for this blog as long as I want to as long as I put time into it and force myself to sit down even when I don’t want to or when I try to submit to my guilty pleasures. I know that now and will continue to try to improve my mental game and my focus on the things that I need to do and what I have to do in order to achieve the creative goals I have and the life that I want.

On a side note, I might be going back to SF in October to go watch BabyMetal in concert there. They will play in Sacramento but the tickets cost 200+ dollars for a basic seat as they will be performing with Slipknot. So I’m going for the SF one (hopefully) after talking with my co-worker who brought up that BabyMetal will be in SF.

I’ll end it here for now. Gotta take action and give my brain some rest to kick ass tomorrow.

Sleep well and kick ass,

David

Day 10 – Keep On Keepin’ On

street photography

For some reason, I often take photos of security cameras. I really liked the wall and the shadow of this camera so I snapped a few shots from different angles. My trip to SF was really about exploring anyway. I really like this shot as well, I like how I able exploring new possibilities with subjects that are not normally captured.

So in a bit of good times, I was able to write my first short story in a while. It’s simply entitled “Boy” and is only one page long. However, I am proud that I created this short story. I am happy that I sat down and got to work. It’s not the length of the story but the quality that matters to me. I truly liked the result but will still edit it before showing it to anyone. I feel better and more confident than ever but I still have a feeling that self-doubt will creep into my life faster than a thirsty man sliding into a Kardashians DM.

I’m looking into developing the proper keys in order to keep my self-confidence on point. I know I will fail at times because everyone hits a snag. But I will work my ass off trying to improve myself as a man and as a creator. So far, I have some good internal results but now comes the external results. I have to seek opportunities and not just let them come to me. I have to get out there and not let a single opportunity pass me by due to laziness or a lack of self-confidence.

A single step is all it takes to start a real journey and I’m taken that step many times to just take a few steps back to many reasons. I don’t want to live like that so no matter what I want take those steps back no matter how much I want to seek back into a safety net. I don’t want to die working in retail, I don’t want to die having never been to Japan, I don’t want to die without have been a husband and a father, I don’t want to die without creating something truly touching. I don’t want to live an unfilled life as I have done that ever since I became an adult and even when was a teenager sleeping the day away or playing videos all day and never truly studying.

I should have been to Japan already but I haven’t..yet.. I have made plans to go to Japan sometime next year. So I’m pinching pennies everywhere that I can while still pursuing self-improvement and a life that I truly want to live. So the moral of this rant is that I am taking action towards achieving my dreams. As a kid I wanted to go to Japan and I will be going to Japan when I am 28 years old. It doesn’t matter how long it takes as long as you get there. The journey is key the destination is the light at the tunnel but there’s even more to explore once you do reach the light.

Will be seeking out writing opportunities and pursuing a job that grants me creative control while pursuing a freelance career and trying to improve myself. So I’m going to be a busy man, I just fully realize that I don’t want to be a scrub. Will be seeking out writing opportunities and pursuing a job that grants me creative control while pursuing a freelance career and trying to improve myself. So I’m going to be a busy man, I just fully realize that I don’t want to be a scrub. I want to live a full life. I was meant to write, I was meant to take photos, I was meant to love, I was meant to bridge different cultures, and I was meant to make an impact on someone’s life. Those are my newfound beliefs and I will write them down everyday to get it through my thick skull when times are tough.

Peace,

David

Day 6 – Return & Rest: A Short Entry

street photography

A shot that I took on my second trip to SF. On my third trip, me and my friend walked through this tunnel a few times. It was a somewhat peaceful experience was one aspect of my trip that I truly enjoyed.

I finally returned home around 3pm. I wasn’t hit with crippling sadness like last time. I truly enjoyed myself on the trip, I am proud that I pushed myself past my limits, I experienced a lot of things for the first time, and was truly open to new experiences. I got to meet a former Oakland Raiders player, saw classic American muscle cars in Chinatown, Alcatraz surrounded by fog, and so many other things. I am only now hit with a slight sadness as I sat down to write this. I’m so ready for the next trip, even if I have to go solo. You never know what may happen in life.

I did make a few mistakes but was able to fix them while in SF. I felt like I improved myself a bit. I feel a bit more responsible and independent. As soon as I got home, I started laundry, Marie Kondo’d my bookshelf then put everything that I bought on the trip away. I didn’t just lay down, I forced myself to complete the task before I took a nap. Even now, before falling asleep another time, I made sure that I could still write this post before sleeping. I have to be at work at 5am. After this trip, I realized how lucky I am after seeing all those homeless people in SF. I realized how I can’t be lazy anymore and will focus on developing a good work ethic as I pursue my dreams.

I’ll write more tomorrow, as I need to get some more rest before the start of my work week. Peace and sweet chasing,

David

Day 3 – Arrival

black and white photography, street photography

This is a pic I took the first time I went to San Francisco but felt its randomness fits how I feel at the moment. This was taken in an alley in Chinatown. My friend lost his debit card so we stopped in this alley to make sure it wasnt in his bed. So this simple shot has a deeper meaning to me. Me and my friends can laugh about this moment now.

I’m alive and well in SF. It’s the first day and it has gone great. The place we picked for dinner wasn’t good. But me and my friend shared a great conversation. Talked about the bro stuff, it was a good start to this trip. He also got a new job offer that made him tear up. So it’s now a celebration trip as well as a time to relax.

I find this city to be so beautiful but it’s the cracks of this beauty lays a real problem. I won’t go into it but if you come here yourself you will see what I mean.

Day 1 is over in a fewminutes. So I’ll end it here and say peace!.

Enjoy life,

David

Day 5 – Keep Going

street photography

Experimental shot that I took at night at a pier in San Francisco. I wanted to capture the locks so I took normal shots with a high ISO but it really wasn’t working. So I popped the flash up and took a shots and somehow I was able to create this shot. I didn’t edit this shot besides possibly cropping it a bit.

Working hard on improving my fitness and finding out what lays at my core. I am putting in a lot of sweat and pain in order to achieve my goals. I am finding some success but I have to attack the fundamental problem of my purpose. I am working on my mental game in pursuit of becoming a better man. It’s hella hard but its worth it.

I don’t know where to look but I know I will forever be lost if I continue to look so far into the future. I will just take one step at a time and move forward.

Peace,

David

Day 4 – Explore

black and white photography, sky, street photography

I simply like to explore and take shots of whatever I find interesting. I wanted to capture these lanterns in Chinatown and this is the best that I could do. I took a few shots but it was hard to take capture a shot of them without including a building. I wanted to simply capture a lantern and I did just that.

I’ve been exploring different things lately. Went rock climbing one week and went shooting another. Will be going camping on Sunday. Besides that, I have made some small improvements to my life. I had a setback so I failed but instead of sinking down into a depression I got back up and got moving.

I still have so much work today and I will need to push more further in order to do it or I will never get anywhere in life. I am 27 years old right now and I don’t want to die being a retail employee. I need to give 100% focus on what I’m doing and I know that I wrote that before but I need to repeat it in order to make it sink into my thick skull.

Shoot for your dreams,

David

Day 16 – Experiment and Growth

architecture photography, black and white photography

These people were taking a long time posing in front of this structure as I wanted to capture it by itself. However, I took this shot shortly after as I was going to get my shot of that structure no matter. I like how you see the makeshift photographer trying to zoom in on the phone. He stands out more than the couple under the structure. The structure itself stands out mostly de to all of its details. I kind of like the black marks on the edge of the photo but at the same time it takes a way from the shot.

I would love to go back and take another photo like this again.

Today, I did something out of the norm. I walked into the breakroom and saw this new guy basically shaking in the chair. I walked to the computers and did my business but when I was about to walk out of the room. I decided to turn and face him. I asked if he was new and he said yes. I extended my hand “David” and he replied with his name. I made sure to look into his eyes as I said my name. I don’t know what spur that on but it shows that I am willing to improve my social skills. I’ve been trying to talk louder and slower as I tend to talk like Twista imitating the Ying Yang twins on the whisper song.

I did add some more distance on my walk and made sure to make an effort to be social in my household. I still have a long way to go but I’m happy with the small improvements that I have seen.

It’s never too late to grow.

Peace,

David