Day 11 – Failure & Goals

black and white photography, Portrait photography, street photography

On my trip, me and my friend decided to walk from our hotel to the beach which was about an hour and forty-five minutes away. So this shot at the beach is a sign of victory of achieving that small goal. I took a few more shots at the beach that I will share later. I like this shot. There is a good amount of fog and the horizon isn’t in the center of the shot. I was simply focusing on trying to capture the birds flying away . A very natural shot.

Didn’t do much today which is why I consider today a failure, however, that’s do to me being critical of myself. I did review hiragana and katakana before work and was more social at work than normal. The failure comes down to the fact that after coming home from work I just took a nap until dinnertime then took another nap and it was 8pm. I have a 5am to 2pm shift tomorrow so I did my best to cram a decent amount of stuff in the last two hours so I can still make a little improvements.

My main focus was setting up a plan that I can follow. I did a rough draft of one but I will do research tomorrow and compile a better plan and the motivation and dedication I will need to fulfil the plan. On an another note, I did show up here and wrote a post so that’s a plus in my book as well. It’s been 11 days, I am surprised that I was able to write while on my trip with the shaky hotel wifi and the lagging data. I had to upload without photos then go back and add the photos because they can’t failing to upload.

It just shows me that its simply a matter of me putting in the work. I can continue to write for this blog as long as I want to as long as I put time into it and force myself to sit down even when I don’t want to or when I try to submit to my guilty pleasures. I know that now and will continue to try to improve my mental game and my focus on the things that I need to do and what I have to do in order to achieve the creative goals I have and the life that I want.

On a side note, I might be going back to SF in October to go watch BabyMetal in concert there. They will play in Sacramento but the tickets cost 200+ dollars for a basic seat as they will be performing with Slipknot. So I’m going for the SF one (hopefully) after talking with my co-worker who brought up that BabyMetal will be in SF.

I’ll end it here for now. Gotta take action and give my brain some rest to kick ass tomorrow.

Sleep well and kick ass,

David

Day 10 – Keep On Keepin’ On

street photography

For some reason, I often take photos of security cameras. I really liked the wall and the shadow of this camera so I snapped a few shots from different angles. My trip to SF was really about exploring anyway. I really like this shot as well, I like how I able exploring new possibilities with subjects that are not normally captured.

So in a bit of good times, I was able to write my first short story in a while. It’s simply entitled “Boy” and is only one page long. However, I am proud that I created this short story. I am happy that I sat down and got to work. It’s not the length of the story but the quality that matters to me. I truly liked the result but will still edit it before showing it to anyone. I feel better and more confident than ever but I still have a feeling that self-doubt will creep into my life faster than a thirsty man sliding into a Kardashians DM.

I’m looking into developing the proper keys in order to keep my self-confidence on point. I know I will fail at times because everyone hits a snag. But I will work my ass off trying to improve myself as a man and as a creator. So far, I have some good internal results but now comes the external results. I have to seek opportunities and not just let them come to me. I have to get out there and not let a single opportunity pass me by due to laziness or a lack of self-confidence.

A single step is all it takes to start a real journey and I’m taken that step many times to just take a few steps back to many reasons. I don’t want to live like that so no matter what I want take those steps back no matter how much I want to seek back into a safety net. I don’t want to die working in retail, I don’t want to die having never been to Japan, I don’t want to die without have been a husband and a father, I don’t want to die without creating something truly touching. I don’t want to live an unfilled life as I have done that ever since I became an adult and even when was a teenager sleeping the day away or playing videos all day and never truly studying.

I should have been to Japan already but I haven’t..yet.. I have made plans to go to Japan sometime next year. So I’m pinching pennies everywhere that I can while still pursuing self-improvement and a life that I truly want to live. So the moral of this rant is that I am taking action towards achieving my dreams. As a kid I wanted to go to Japan and I will be going to Japan when I am 28 years old. It doesn’t matter how long it takes as long as you get there. The journey is key the destination is the light at the tunnel but there’s even more to explore once you do reach the light.

Will be seeking out writing opportunities and pursuing a job that grants me creative control while pursuing a freelance career and trying to improve myself. So I’m going to be a busy man, I just fully realize that I don’t want to be a scrub. Will be seeking out writing opportunities and pursuing a job that grants me creative control while pursuing a freelance career and trying to improve myself. So I’m going to be a busy man, I just fully realize that I don’t want to be a scrub. I want to live a full life. I was meant to write, I was meant to take photos, I was meant to love, I was meant to bridge different cultures, and I was meant to make an impact on someone’s life. Those are my newfound beliefs and I will write them down everyday to get it through my thick skull when times are tough.

Peace,

David

Day 8 – Exploring

architecture photography

Was walking towards the beach when I took this shot but it wasn’t until I was editing the shot did I think about flipping it upside down. It’s something I haven’t done before with color photography but I was like “what the hell”. My third trip to San Francisco was about exploring and being open. I accomplished that and I believe I took a step towards improving my photography as well. Chalk this shot up to me experimenting with my craft.

Tried to rest as much as I can today. Not only was it going to be 108 degrees today but it’s my only day off for 4 days. So I really haven’t properly rested since returning from my trip. I feel like I am still catching up. I often sit and wonder what I should do. The night before, I tend to think of something I will force myself to do. Today, it was walking to Walmart (a mile and a half away), riding my motorcycle to the library and to the post office before I could lay down. I find this helps with the emptiness I feel at times as I struggle to find something to do.

I actually favor my life on the trip, being able to go wherever I wanted and to do what I wanted. I took care of myself and walked everywhere. All I did while there was eat, shoot photos, took some videos, walked, and shopped. It was a fun experience that taught me a lot about myself. Like what I don’t like and do like about traveling, what really interests, yada yada. Basically, I learned where I stand and where I want to be. I am still a little lost but I am okay with that. I’m not rushing leaving the job that I currently have as for now it will be the foundation that allows me to pursue a career that I actually want.

There are no real paths in life because it’s made up. Your path is whatever you choose it to be. I could create a path to become a teacher or a programmer if I simply decided to. We are taught that paths are always clear. Here I am 27 years old about to turn 28 next month and I’m basically clueless. Or am I simply afraid of failing? Afraid of facing fears of communication? Submitting to my anxiety about certain social situations? The trip really gave me time to think and now I spent the last few days reflecting. I’m spending less time on my phone diving into YouTube and online manga. I’m truly allowing myself to think and force myself to sit down and simply think.

It’s one of the hardest things that I have ever done. After a while, I have the urge to do what I need to do or to do something that I want to do. I may get up for a while and pace but I force myself to sit back down and write out my thoughts and give me insight to where I am suppose to go from here.

My shot is suppose to represent me turning my world upside down and exploring life with no filters. Seeing what is truly inside of me as I decide to make my own path. It’s all just a decision and I have to make mine very soon.

Peace and sweet dreams,

David

Day 1 – Truly Showing Up

black and white photography, Portrait photography
Teaching my friend how to ride a bike in San Francisco as this was his first time ever being on a bike.

Failed once again at this blogging for thirty days challenge. The most consecutive days has been 15 I believe. My “why” must have been weak. Can’t say I won’t fail again but I will pick myself up again. I will now try my best to truly show up on this blog for thirty days straight. It will be hard but worth it. I have a new “why” and it is stronger this time. Won’t share it at this time but in the future I might.

I will be going to San Francisco on Friday and will be returning on Sunday. I will have a boat load more of photos to edit and a few to share. I’ll be pushing my skills and body to the limit as I will be walking everywhere in the city. I will allow myself to let loose but to also wait for the shot that I want.

I will take multiple shots of a subject until I am satisfied unless it’s a very spontaneous street photo then I’m just shit out of luck. Will be traveling to Japantown, Chinatown, Japanese Tea Garden, and hopefully some new places. However, my main focus of the trip is to relax and to allow myself to think. I will enjoy the peace and quiet.

My main focus of deep thinking to develop my core and to pick a main focus. However, I’m allowing myself enough time to truly write things down and be open with myself. I will battle myself to see how I can truly shine. It’s like first learning to ride a bike, you just got to get on and ride even when you fall pick yourself up and try again.

Peace,

David

Day 4 – Explore

black and white photography, sky, street photography

I simply like to explore and take shots of whatever I find interesting. I wanted to capture these lanterns in Chinatown and this is the best that I could do. I took a few shots but it was hard to take capture a shot of them without including a building. I wanted to simply capture a lantern and I did just that.

I’ve been exploring different things lately. Went rock climbing one week and went shooting another. Will be going camping on Sunday. Besides that, I have made some small improvements to my life. I had a setback so I failed but instead of sinking down into a depression I got back up and got moving.

I still have so much work today and I will need to push more further in order to do it or I will never get anywhere in life. I am 27 years old right now and I don’t want to die being a retail employee. I need to give 100% focus on what I’m doing and I know that I wrote that before but I need to repeat it in order to make it sink into my thick skull.

Shoot for your dreams,

David

Day 3 – Ride

architecture photography, black and white photography, street photography

This is a shot that I don’t normally take but as me and my friends entered Japantown for the first time I took this. I will go back and try to fix the lighting in the editing process. To me, it’s a decent shot that can be improved with more practice. This was taken on our first trip to San Fran so I’ve improved a lot since then.

Today, after a long day at work. My and my friend rode our motorcycles around for a few hours and talked for a few hours. We headed towards my house and we switched bikes so I was able to ride a different kind of motorcycle. It was a pretty cool experience and thankfully a good day. But now it’s back to “real life” mode. NOt much occurred but my overall life has improved except for a few areas. I am working hard to embrace the changes to great success. I just need to go harder and give 100% focus.

Peace and sleep well,

David

Day 16 – Experiment and Growth

architecture photography, black and white photography

These people were taking a long time posing in front of this structure as I wanted to capture it by itself. However, I took this shot shortly after as I was going to get my shot of that structure no matter. I like how you see the makeshift photographer trying to zoom in on the phone. He stands out more than the couple under the structure. The structure itself stands out mostly de to all of its details. I kind of like the black marks on the edge of the photo but at the same time it takes a way from the shot.

I would love to go back and take another photo like this again.

Today, I did something out of the norm. I walked into the breakroom and saw this new guy basically shaking in the chair. I walked to the computers and did my business but when I was about to walk out of the room. I decided to turn and face him. I asked if he was new and he said yes. I extended my hand “David” and he replied with his name. I made sure to look into his eyes as I said my name. I don’t know what spur that on but it shows that I am willing to improve my social skills. I’ve been trying to talk louder and slower as I tend to talk like Twista imitating the Ying Yang twins on the whisper song.

I did add some more distance on my walk and made sure to make an effort to be social in my household. I still have a long way to go but I’m happy with the small improvements that I have seen.

It’s never too late to grow.

Peace,

David