The worst thing about me is that I never truly given my all to something. I was afraid to fail or that was never good enough. So I looked for excuses to use for why I didn’t pursue something wholeheartedly. Read an article about the UFC Jon Jones who is considered by many to be the greatest MMA fighter of all time. He used drugs and alcohol as his prepared excuse if he ever lost any of his fights.
Even a man on top of his career field felt the need to come up with excuses. I really don’t want to live a half assed life full of regrets to match the repugnant excuses. It’s not too late for me to switch things around. I am doing just that.
2021 is my year. I’ve already got rid of some bad vices but I still have a lot of work to do. I’m chasing the greatest version of myself. In this year, I won’t plan it out anymore. I will simply carve myself into the being I have always desired to be. I’m reading, learning, watching, and listening to the world around me. Learning myself and truly following my principles.
No more excuses! I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, a car to take me places, and a bed to rest upon. I have all that I need to succeed. I just have to embrace the fear and make it my b$tch.
I love photography and expressing myself. Both require me to explore the world. This year I will pursue photography and becoming the best version of myself wholeheartedly. I will not stop even when I reach my goals. I’ll simply sit down and write out bigger goals.
On a whim, I decided to drive to Reno, Nevada a few days after the new year. My best friend tagged along and we had a nice but frustrating adventure. Enjoyed the weather out there but the street lights and homelessness in Reno are no joke. It’s not on the level of San Francisco but it is a serious problem.
Besides that, finding parking that wasn’t connected to a hotel was a joke. Finally managed to find one and got some safe parking for free. Walked a few miles around the nearly empty streets of the littlest big city in the world. All I could was the cars wheezing bye and music from the casinos. I’m no gambler but I did hit the slots for a brief moment on someone’s else’s dime. However, turned that dime into fifteen dollars.
Afterwards, we kept walking towards the University of Nevada-Reno. The campus was as dead as a movie theater. It was a pretty nice experience as I was able to practice shooting portraits with no distractions or interruptions until my model fell.
That wasn’t the end of the trip as we had to make the trek back to Sacramento. We went to Boomtown, NV to devour some steak and eggs at Mel’s Original Diner. It was a fantastic idea despite the long wait time. I found Boomtown to much more pleasant than Reno.
I’m actually pondering moving to Nevada due to the standard of living in California. It’s a serious decision that I am not taking lightly. I’m taking some more time to think about it. I will have my decision in 6 to 9 months. Anyway, that’s all from me tonight.
Working hard to improve my portrait skills. I mainly focus on street and architecture photography but would like to dive into more portraits. It’s kind of hard to do so at the moment due to the virus. I’ll be putting myself out there once this ends. It’s scary but I’m willing to face that fear for the benefit of my future. Going to try to take a photography course at a community college in order to learn how to work in a studio.
My thoughts are unorganized as I’m trying to combine passions but can’t figure out how yet. I have a few ideas but will have to give it more thought.
I wanted to capture this subject but never could find a good angle until I took this shot. I like the texture but would go back and try to make a more interesting composition.
Had a semi-productive day. I sold off some of my shares in the stock market and holding out on buying anymore for a while. It’s tough to be patient but with the market how it is I’m going to have to be. Listening to top investors like Warren Buffet & David Tepper talk about being bearish which lead to my decision to hold what I got and adapt to the market.
Finally, finished reading The Prince by Niccolo Machievelli. It’s a very good political philosophy book that I would recommend to any one that wants to start a business or simply loves philosophy. My goal is to read 100 books this year and I’m at 18 right now. Next up will be No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover.
Was able to clean and organize my room some more. I have to re-design my desk which I’m struggling with. However, I’m trying to be more decisive and simply getting things done. Will be reading Marie Kondo’s “Joy at Work” to fix the work side of my desk.
I am proud to say that I have been able to fight off some doubt and stay the course. I’m working hard to battle my inner demons and improve my mind and body. Doing research on diets and exercises to maximize my time. I’ll also be studying video production and editing on top of photography and Japanese. I would like to direct films in some capacity in the future so I’ll be working hard to produce my own material.
Now’s the time for me to produce my own work and not expect to work half ass on the things I love. Will be disciplined and work hard towards my passions and hopefully have the life that I’ve always wanted.
A portrait shot of a dog that was in my family for a long time that we had to put down earlier in the year. I don’t normally do animal photography but I did it in this case. Whenever I held the camera close to her she would turn her head so it was hard to get this shot. It’s an okay shot, I think I did good with the atmosphere and her expression.
I worked hard today but wasn’t really feeling it at my day job. Goodbyes have been on mind a lot lately. I want to say goodbye to my current job, my weight, and my current problems. One friend left for the military this year and another is moving across the country. I hardly ever use the word but the context is what gets me. I like some of my co-workers which makes it hard to leave but I know that I have to. I like the safety of my current situation but I have to move on before it’s too late.
I have to put in my work into my true passions and transform myself into the man that I want to be slowly. So I have to say goodbye to my current self and the way I currently live. Because sometimes goodbyes are truly a chance to say hello to something else.
On the “bridge” in Japantown, it’s a decent shot that took a while to get. It was a spontaneous shot as I looked for my friends. Will go back and try to make the glass stand out more. Right now the only thing that stands out to me is the first light. However, no matter what kind of shot I take I have to own it and continue to improve.
Today, was a good day. I didn’t crash which is pretty rare for a work day. I’m going to keep this short and sweet. Did some work for some online courses and practiced a self awareness technique that helped me realize the goals I want to chase after. The only problem I face is myself. I tend to always search for my passion but I always end up back in the same place. Sometimes I feel like something is missing but what is really missing is confidence and the fire to string things together and start something real.
I know the steps that I need to take and I would gradually take them. Baby steps turn into giant strides. Just got to focus and be confident and follow through on my plans like any good villain. I’ll go after what I want and I’ll get it in some fashion or another.
A short post as my mind is out of whack after doing a bunch of work for some online courses that I had to rush through because they are due today and I need to sleep soon to be ready for another 4am shift.
My friend was gracious enough to allow me to photograph him on my last trip to SF. Ironically, I took this shot because I loved the composition but now that I look at it it was the perfect shot for the occasion. The friend in the shot is leaving for the military tomorrow night. He is embarking on a new path without his friends and family. The trip to SF was our last trip together before he shipped out. My and my other friend attended his goodbye party and afterwards we went to get some boba tea and nacho fries from Taco Bell before we split ways.
So I didn’t indeed this shot to having that kind of meaning for me it just happened because of the moment. I’m truly grateful for the experience and that I was able to capture such a moment thanks to my love for photography and my almost obsessive need to capture moments on trips.
I wished my friend good luck on his new journey and he wished me the same. Nothing will be the same but it’s up to me to walk down my path. I will remember our friendship and treasure it for the rest of my life.
Another shot taken in the early morning in Japantown SF. This time I went for a darker tone. I wanted to capture some of the lights and the mirrors while also taking a portrait of someone. I succeeded in what I sought out to do. Might go back and re-edit this shot to make it lighter so we can see more of the reflections from the windows.
It feels good to be back on top of my game. I am going to have to figure out how to showcase my photography better and how to make it easier for me to manage my social media. Got a lot of studying to do and actions to take. So here we go.
I’m able to see all the mistakes I made when I went on this trip and was snapping away. However, a lot of them can be solved as I know my camera better now and how to edit better. I consider a shot like this, just to be apart of the learning process. A shot like this no longer depresses me as I know I can do better and that I believe in my photography skill.