Where am I going? Where have I truly been? I don’t know nor do I fully expect to. I want to fully know, but the harder I try the less confident I become. I am a writer, photographer, mentor, and artist. It’s out there in the universe, I’m trying but I could try even harder.
I haven’t brushed the lips of success yet. I do get discouraged but I keep going. I understand that if I stop then I might as well be a empty shell working a dead end job and never leaving to explore the world.
It’s hurt but that’s life. Traveling down the only road that I’ve ever known..
As I walking to my college I peered down at something shining under the blazing sun. It was a pink iPhone badly bent and the first thing that came to my mind was “someone upgraded”. In this field, I always see discarded materials like bras, phones, food, mattresses, etc. It would be a beautiful place if this field was cleaned up.
I think a lot of people are lazy and unkind. I was walking into a Walmart and saw a woman throw some trash on the ground while she was inches away from a trash can. As someone who works in retail, I see a lot of disgusting behaviors. People will drink soda then leave it behind something or chew seeds and spit them on the ground. They may just be kind people outside of this, but these kind of behaviors are a clear indicator of a personality flaw.
This is the only planet we can live on for now and we trash it. I do my part to recycle and pick up litter. It amazes me at how many don’t do this.
Kindness and Work
Do not be nice as there is always a hidden motive. Kindness comes from within and doesnt stray like being nice. I have to smile at work and help people. I am required to do it, but at some point it became genuine.
Besides that, I was able to do more today after work than normal, however, I’m still struggling with adapting to my sleep schedule. I have to be in bed at 8 and asleep by 9:30 to get up at 3am. I only slept 2 hours which made work that much harder. It’s eight now and I’m finishing up what I need to do. Hopefully, I can knock out soon so I can be a better me tomorrow.
This photo can represent someone’s desperation after their dream shatters or someone’s resolve to get rid of their vices. I love photos that may have conflicting meanings depending on who views it. I won’t state my opinion further and allow you to decide what you believe.
I’m working hard to accomplish my dreams when I actually get down and do some work. I struggle to get to the keyboard but when I’m there I write away. I’m ridding myself of distractions and focusing on my passions.
Was able to write one thousand words in less than an hour in one sitting. Im writing about something that I love and I require myself to write that much on a daily basis. I fail everyday but I’m pushing myself to try. I have the dreams but I need the hard work. I’m developing it and will continue to develop it until it’s no longer a thought.
I don’t want to be 50 years old working at Walmart for terrible pay. I want to accomplish my dreams so I must work hard. I realize this but I do get lazy. However, as each day goes by I’m less lazy. Tomorrow will be the start of a new work ethic. I have something to prove to myself and I know I can do it. I just have to do it.
I’m off to do just that. Peace,
I enjoy capturing the simple beauty of life through roses. Their beauty doesn’t last long but it ages well until the day it dies. It doesn’t fight the natural law of living. This shot as reflects my love for playing with shadows and the film noir genre of films. One day we will all die and that is a fact of life. I will not fight death but I will fight life to live long enough to get my fill. It scares me but it is something that I’ve come to terms with.
I hope to someday be able to capture models using this method of heavy shadows. I find women from back in the 40s and 50s to be highly more attractive. Anyway, this will be a goal that I will accomplish soon. Hopefully I’ll be able to do it before this year is up.
I am here to tell stories/create, compete, dominate, and to travel. This is my self designed purpose that calls me into the put of fire called motivation, dedication, and discipline. It’s taken me a while to come to terms with who I truly am and what I actually want to do with my life.
Through this job I currently have I’ve been able to buy the things that I need. In a few weeks I’ll be able to buy a DSLR which I will use to improve my photography and my art. I did not pick an easy path but knowing me that’s the perfect way. This job had taught me a lot and I’m more motivated than ever to get out there in the world. I just have to take it step by step and someday I will realize that I am now running free on the path that I made for me.
Trying to admit my faults to become the adult that I need to be. To admit them is to grow and that’s what I need right now. I was exploring my neighborhood and found this pacifier on the ground. I tried to make the shot interesting as I took multiple shots from different angles. I like the little spiral of the strap leading to the pacifier.
I’m in the process of developing a plan so that I can make more progress in my life and so I know what to do almost every moment of the day. Been thinking deeply about my faults and ways to better my bad habits. It’s a slow process but I’m in this for the long ride. I know what I want to do but now I have to wait to make the moves necessary for me to rise to the levels that I know I was meant to be on.
My first mini-goal is to upgrade to a DSLR. I should be able to afford one in the upcoming weeks. Second, I will continue to write for a anime/manga based website before applying for a paid position. Third, will quit my current job once I find one better suited for me. That’s all I got for now but will be fine tuning it tomorrow. Not everything will be solved but I know where I need to be.
As I explored the depths of my mind to make a decision that will impact my present and future. I took the time to take photos that I like. In doing so I was able to calm myself which helped me think. I proclaimed to myself that I wanted to take photos and write about them plus many other things.
I have many creative outlets from my passion of writing like poetry, scriptwriting, research papers, blogging, etc. I love it and I get so focused on seeking validation from others when I simply just need to create. I am changing my work ethic to improve my artwork but also to improve the time of time I actually create.
In the mornings, I am focused on light exercise and writing. I do photography for a while then back to writing. I run several blogs including this one, I update this one at random times, I update another twice a week, and one everyday. I need to be more organized and produce better and more frequently to ever to improve and to make my passions a career.
This shot respersents the steps I must take and have each pillar has a shadow that I must overcome. I may take longer than other people but this is my path and I just need to worry about what I am doing. Once I am further down my path it will be more colorful despite how neutral it may look now.
Just focusing on move at a time,
Working on photos that I really enjoy taking. This is a project of self discovery. I am taking shots that I feel like represent my likes and style. I love the contrast between light and darkness. Really want to explore contrast between black and white vs bright colors like Tim Burton achieved in Sweeny Todd.
I’m making drastic changes to my life that are inspiring to carry on. I was raised by people who always did things at the very last minute or not at all. I’ve decided to do things faster and more on time. I eat healthier with less portions. I turn the TV for hours now. The only time it’s on is when I watch relevant videos on YouTube, when the Warriors or Kings play, when I play video games with my little cousin and when it’s 10pm and I allow myself to watch movies and dramas.
All these changes are new but I am ensuring my success by changing habits. I’m more in touch with who I truly am which is making me feel better throughout the day. I don’t feel like I am wasting my day or time anymore. I have also been taking my DSLR with me more. As I am exploring my creativity and developing my personal style with it.
Overall I learned there is still a light on at the end of the hall telling me I still have time.
Follow your heart,
The man in the shot doesn’t know his purpose in life thus there is darkness all around him and he is clinging to it. He doesn’t realize there is light behind him. The man is my grandfather who seems himself worthless.
He spent 25+ years as a heating and air technician. He was great at his job earning numerous awards and being dubbed the best technician in California. He hated the job but he did it to take care of his wife and his non biological grandchildren. That all changed three years ago when he tore muscles in his shoulder and back while on the job. Now that hated job was gone and so was his self worth.
I think it’s my duty to him and my grandmother to live my life to the fullest. They sacrificed for me so I won’t ever let them down. I’ve been troubled with defining my purpose like my grandfather.
I’ve been thinking deeply about this. I first thought my purpose was to create art that inspires others to smile, laugh, cry, etc. It further developed when I saw a picture on the internet. I will be the one to walk into the darkness holding a torch to guide you along my journey. To show everyone that there is light, all you have to do it reach for it. Like I’ve told my grandfather, it all starts within you. Search your entire being and you will find the answer to your purpose.
Define your purpose and act,