Where am I going? Where have I truly been? I don’t know nor do I fully expect to. I want to fully know, but the harder I try the less confident I become. I am a writer, photographer, mentor, and artist. It’s out there in the universe, I’m trying but I could try even harder.
I haven’t brushed the lips of success yet. I do get discouraged but I keep going. I understand that if I stop then I might as well be a empty shell working a dead end job and never leaving to explore the world.
It’s hurt but that’s life. Traveling down the only road that I’ve ever known..
I enjoy capturing the simple beauty of life through roses. Their beauty doesn’t last long but it ages well until the day it dies. It doesn’t fight the natural law of living. This shot as reflects my love for playing with shadows and the film noir genre of films. One day we will all die and that is a fact of life. I will not fight death but I will fight life to live long enough to get my fill. It scares me but it is something that I’ve come to terms with.
I hope to someday be able to capture models using this method of heavy shadows. I find women from back in the 40s and 50s to be highly more attractive. Anyway, this will be a goal that I will accomplish soon. Hopefully I’ll be able to do it before this year is up.
I am here to tell stories/create, compete, dominate, and to travel. This is my self designed purpose that calls me into the put of fire called motivation, dedication, and discipline. It’s taken me a while to come to terms with who I truly am and what I actually want to do with my life.
Through this job I currently have I’ve been able to buy the things that I need. In a few weeks I’ll be able to buy a DSLR which I will use to improve my photography and my art. I did not pick an easy path but knowing me that’s the perfect way. This job had taught me a lot and I’m more motivated than ever to get out there in the world. I just have to take it step by step and someday I will realize that I am now running free on the path that I made for me.
Caught this little sign while I was on a walk. I don’t know where it is from nor what it is for. I am guessing that it comes from the hardware store across the street from this tree. Anyone, it was something out of place so I caught it before it disappeared.
Today, I started working from 4 am until 1pm. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, but this job is not for me. I won’t quit until I have another job to take its place. I’ve been working there for four days and I already want to say goodbye to this job. I have met some wonderful people, but I won’t allow that to cloud my judgement when the time comes. After I finish this post, I’m going to be updating my resume and apply to some more jobs in a career field that fits me better.
With this job, I will have to sacrifice some more things and to work even harder to improve my passions. I hope to be able to get an official job in a creative field this year. Going back to the basics to me is that I need to focus on improving my passions, focusing on my health, get money, and do the things that I need to do like get a license and be fully independent financially.
It means that I must take the first step in each category as I go back to learn the basics so I can master them.
Be great and live the life that you always dreamed about,
Despite how simple this shot is, I happen to love it. I love the soft shadows that seem to consume almost everything. Playing with shadows is great and combining it with architecture is really fun. There is a slight human element with the icebox and the leaves. I can imagine how I would make this shot better and will try to explore other options in the future.
This has been my style for s while now and I am looking to explore it with models. I love film noir films and other forms of entertainment that are not afraid to play with shadows. I was inspired recently by a film called The Eyes of My Mother. It’s not the best film by far, but it has cinematography that is simply beautiful. I explore shots when I watch films and find myself sometimes enjoying certain shots rather than the actual movie.
Another film that I enjoyed for its cinematography was The Outsider. It happened to feature another love of mine heavily which is Japan. It experimented with colors but wasn’t afraid to be dark. I could keep this up all day! I am starting to realize the truth that has always been under my nose. I was either too ignorant or I simply didn’t see in-between the lines.
Discovering the type of photography that I want to create, the type of stories I want to create, and the type of visuals I want to create have sparked something inside of me that I thought I lost. It’s a bittersweet thing called passion. I’m doing my best to create and to keep on creating in order to have the life that I want to.
My main goal is freedom, I want to be able to create full-time. So basically, my mantra is to create, compete, dominate, and Japan. It motivates me and I don’t have to say a lot to understand the depth behind each word. It’s a simple technique that I will employ every time I look into a mirror or whenever I have to do something that I may not want to but will help me on this path that I am trying to create.
I have to end it here, but just know that I will be making more posts and they will be longer than usual. Enjoy your life and take time to understand what gets you going.
Experimenting with light as I stopped for a moment while on a walk. I love to get up around this time and go walk. There’s hardly any people around and theres typically a nice breeze.
In the morning, I’m antisocial I prefer quiet mornings. So taking shots like these do wonders for my inner self. I love to create and to be active, so walking with my camera is embracing two passions at the same time. This shot is about embracing nature and telling the world you are still here as we are given a new day.
Exploring the world and experiencing life will cause the title of this post to be true. It’s something I’ve learned from my philosophical studies from stoicism.
You just go on even when the world starts to fade and there’s no sign to point you in the right direction. You just have to close your eyes take a moment to gather yourself and come to the realization that there is nothing to fear. Embrace the darkness and allow yourself to see the light of living. There is something pointing you in the right direction. You have to simply start to walk and eventually you’ll run and run until the come days that darkness surrounds you forever.
This photo represents what I just mentioned. I was exploring somewhere new and found a new path to capture. It’s as simple as that, I enjoy the discovery process and have come to terms with becoming a master of a few rather than one. I like this photo for the feeling it gives and for it’s light.
Dare to experience life,
We only have one life, so why waste it by putting our goals aside? You have to fight through the pain to recieve the pleasure of achieving the goal. Don’t place your goals on a fence and neglect them for the little time we each have. One thing that I have learned in 26 years, you don’t know what will happen and anything can happen. I will live everyday like it is my last and live free without a care. I will live how I want and be who I truly am. Keep fighting my friends and dare to dream and fight for those dreams. Get out there and work hard.
We have have a time in life when everything bad that could happen did happen. Right now, I am in this period. I have a lot of problems that are slowly crushing my shoulders with no real solution in sight. Thus this is why I decided to capture an appliance isle in a hardware store. It repersents the coldness of life through lifeless objects surrounded by steel. I feel a certain coldness from this shot like a few other of my photos.
When life is cold, you can’t give up. Instead of sitting on my ass, I’m changing for the better. Going through self development and discovery while tackling each of my problems one at at ime. There are moments where I crash but I set up motivational objects all around me. My wallpaper for my Cellphone is a motivatonal quote, my tablet is the same as is my ps4. I have photos of my own hanging on my wall to remind me of my artistic goals. No where in my room or life can I be without being reminded of what I am suppose to be doing and why. You may slip but get up. If there is a wall, smash through the wall. It’s all a journey, so its not going to take a day to fully change but it all starts with one step one change. One simple change can lead to more small changes that end up becoming a big change.
Baby steps turn into giant strides,
Seeking validation has been a titanic problem for me. I’m taking measures to simply not worry about numbers. I set up a schedule to upload and when I am not doing that my phone is off. Numbers are just numbers! It’s hard, yet I want to continue to eliminate it from my life. I’m only uploading content that matters to me and that’s all. My work is my voice, so you can absorb it or ignore it. As long as I put it out there into the world no opinion matters more than mine.
As I explored the depths of my mind to make a decision that will impact my present and future. I took the time to take photos that I like. In doing so I was able to calm myself which helped me think. I proclaimed to myself that I wanted to take photos and write about them plus many other things.
I have many creative outlets from my passion of writing like poetry, scriptwriting, research papers, blogging, etc. I love it and I get so focused on seeking validation from others when I simply just need to create. I am changing my work ethic to improve my artwork but also to improve the time of time I actually create.
In the mornings, I am focused on light exercise and writing. I do photography for a while then back to writing. I run several blogs including this one, I update this one at random times, I update another twice a week, and one everyday. I need to be more organized and produce better and more frequently to ever to improve and to make my passions a career.
This shot respersents the steps I must take and have each pillar has a shadow that I must overcome. I may take longer than other people but this is my path and I just need to worry about what I am doing. Once I am further down my path it will be more colorful despite how neutral it may look now.
Just focusing on move at a time,