In the Shadows

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Understanding that I must take ownership for my life and all the things I’ve done is something that truly has hit me since I started working this new job. I am cutting things out that I don’t need since I just don’t have any time as I am working four am to one pm shifts for four days a week. I only have about eight hours every day when I come home after work to do what I need to. I am still adjusting to the job so I often take a two-hour nap.

I really don’t want this job but I’m keeping it up until I am able to find a new job. Hopefully, it will be in a career field that I actually want to work in. For now, I am doing my best to do what I need to at work to make money and raise capital for the things that I truly want to do. It’s not easy but no one said that it would be. I am at fault and I accept that. However, I will not simply lay on back and accept life. I will raise to do the things that I want to do before I open my eyes and I’ve spent my whole life working this job.

My goal is to be able to take my photography and my writing and turn them into a full-time career. I’m starting by writing for an anime-based website for free and will be hosting my own anime/manga blog very soon while still maintaining this blog. I will probably buy a domain name for this site and make it truly mine. I have to do some more research but I will make a decision by tomorrow.

I am in the shadows now but with small acts of confidence, I will shine. As I love this!

Do what you love and want you can truly be great it,
David

Back to the Basics

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Caught this little sign while I was on a walk. I don’t know where it is from nor what it is for. I am guessing that it comes from the hardware store across the street from this tree. Anyone, it was something out of place so I caught it before it disappeared.

Today, I started working from 4 am until 1pm. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, but this job is not for me. I won’t quit until I have another job to take its place. I’ve been working there for four days and I already want to say goodbye to this job. I have met some wonderful people, but I won’t allow that to cloud my judgement when the time comes. After I finish this post, I’m going to be updating my resume and apply to some more jobs in a career field that fits me better.

With this job, I will have to sacrifice some more things and to work even harder to improve my passions. I hope to be able to get an official job in a creative field this year. Going back to the basics to me is that I need to focus on improving my passions, focusing on my health, get money, and do the things that I need to do like get a license and be fully independent financially.

It means that I must take the first step in each category as I go back to learn the basics so I can master them.

Be great and live the life that you always dreamed about,

 

David

Passion In Shadows

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Despite how simple this shot is, I happen to love it. I love the soft shadows that seem to consume almost everything. Playing with shadows is great and combining it with architecture is really fun. There is a slight human element with the icebox and the leaves. I can imagine how I would make this shot better and will try to explore other options in the future.

This has been my style for s while now and I am looking to explore it with models. I love film noir films and other forms of entertainment that are not afraid to play with shadows. I was inspired recently by a film called The Eyes of My Mother. It’s not the best film by far, but it has cinematography that is simply beautiful. I explore shots when I watch films and find myself sometimes enjoying certain shots rather than the actual movie.

Another film that I enjoyed for its cinematography was The Outsider. It happened to feature another love of mine heavily which is Japan. It experimented with colors but wasn’t afraid to be dark. I could keep this up all day! I am starting to realize the truth that has always been under my nose. I was either too ignorant or I simply didn’t see in-between the lines.

Discovering the type of photography that I want to create, the type of stories I want to create, and the type of visuals I want to create have sparked something inside of me that I thought I lost. It’s a bittersweet thing called passion. I’m doing my best to create and to keep on creating in order to have the life that I want to.

My main goal is freedom, I want to be able to create full-time. So basically, my mantra is to create, compete, dominate, and Japan. It motivates me and I don’t have to say a lot to understand the depth behind each word. It’s a simple technique that I will employ every time I look into a mirror or whenever I have to do something that I may not want to but will help me on this path that I am trying to create.

I have to end it here, but just know that I will be making more posts and they will be longer than usual. Enjoy your life and take time to understand what gets you going.

Peace,

David

Talking to Myself

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Found myself lost as I was looking for a specific building. I caught this shot which proaprob shows that I wasn’t all too concerned about finding what I needed to. In the end, I was able to do what I had to do.

I love all the lines present in the shot as well as the shadows. I wish I captured this shot earlier, so that the light would be softer. I still enjoy the shot but I have room for improvement.

In two days, I walked around 9 miles. The more I condition my body the easier and faster it is to walk 4 miles + on one day. It makes each walk feel shorter than it is as well. I’ve been practicing visualization on each trip which helps me focus on where I want to go in life.

I’m waiting for my acceptance email to officially join a project. Doubt creeps in but I’m doing my best to change the way I talk to myself. It’s not easy but it must be done. I have found myself creating more and simply enjoying life more. I realized it’s a slow process after trying to quit so many times. Doing my best to become the strongest version of myself by getting into shape, both mentally and physically. It’s getting funnier just not easier. This is the path that I chose but one foot is still on the path of ruin that I allowed myself to walk through. Will take time for me to fully step off the path but I can feel my foot inching up a bit each day that I improve myself and do what I love.

 

Peace,

David

109 – Spur

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No matter how much darkness tries to corrupt your path, you must keep on moving. I took this shot at my college during a busy time. I liked the shape of the shadows so I crouched down to take a few shots when people started to get into the shot. I simply used patience to create the shot that I wanted. It is a favorite shot of mine but I can see how I can make it better. Would have stepped back a bit so the light wouldn’t be as badly reflected through the glass on the right. I do like how you can only see one of the subject’s hands. It has disappeared inside the darkness thanks to her backpack.

Watching the NBA finals, disappointed that the Spurs can’t win a single game against the Warriors. I know they can do it but they defeat themselves. I have the same problem in my own life but I’m learning faster than they are. I took a step in a positive direction today, however, I need to step a bit faster. I was filled with energy and made more positive decisions than bad ones. That’s it for now but I hope you all have a great day.

Peace,

David

104 – Climb

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Caught this while walking to the library today. I walked by this once but decided to take the shot. I got the composition I wanted in the first shot I took before I kept walking on. I like how it came out, the shadows and even the texture of the shell stands out. It’s a simple shot with leading lines and an emphasis on texture. Going to be keeping it simple in terms of composition and create the photos that I want to capture.

Watched all three NBA games today, the first game was the best to me as I was more invested in the game as I am rooting for the Spurs. Seeing these guys battle it out inspired me to push myself even further. I was able to jog for longer now and a few more times than I did the last time I jogged. A few ideas formed inside of my mind that forced me to change as a person. I understand that I have made so many mistakes in the past and I am in a bad spot because of myself. I’ve kissed the past goodbye and focusing on the now. I’m tearing away all the fear tonight and diving deep into the path I want to create. Basically, going to be talking to myself to figure out how to fix my problems and many other topics before the end of the night.

My Hero Academia manga helped as well and inspired me to think differently about all the ideas that I have. So the theme of the day is to climb and keep on climbing even if you are close to the edge and the sick bastard called fear has his hands wrapped around your neck. Just keep on climbing and always be yourself in the process.

Climb on,

David

Day 91 – Going My Own Way

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Exploring the world and myself at the same time. Rather than simply following a solid plan, I keep my options open. I am willing to experiment like in this shot. I purposely included in my shot for multiple reasons. Once a upon a time I once said to a woman that I felt like the shadow. I can’t really explain it now but I will leave you with that I felt dark when I was younger. I’m completing a photography program in which the final step is to include yourself in your photography.

I force myself to fight laziness to push myself further. I always listen to my body if I ever feel sharp pain and I pay attention to what things actually keep my attention. I’m doing all this by trial and error. Less entertainment, more moving and doing. Thinking critically about everything and simply living the way that I want to. It is a journey that I must complete before I am able to go on another one.

Just start,

David

D70 – Feel and Suffer

Daring myself to do more self-portraits as an experiment. I have noticed an increase in my confidence in myself and my photography. I like to explore the world, I ofen allow myself to get lost. Often I don’t bring my main camera, as I often leave when it’s very bright outside. I will the nex time I go on an adventure.

I was able to move up a gear but I put myself back down another gear. I still made progress but not much as I would have liked. I see this as me going backwards to move forward. It is a saying that I discovered for myself when I used to play video games a lot in my teens. I simply have to force myself more and more while doing the best work I can. The key is that I need to suffer. I need to suffer to feel life, to suffer through my work, and suffer through my fears to move ahead in life. There have been many setbacks but I will charge on until I can’t go up anymore gears. When I die I want to be able to die happy for a cause and be carried out on a shield. Not as a symbol of saddness but as a symbol of strength, courage, and honor. I am a man and I am a warrior fighting for his cause until the day he dies.

Be a warrior and suffer,

David

D65 – Fake Hustle

DSC00265-01.jpegI realized that I am making a lot of changes in my life but I found that I was content. I can’t be content there is more to change and to do. I am creating more but it’s not enough to label it as truly productive. I’m still not giving it my 100% effort. Someone called me out on it and I have accepted that I have been lazy and a bit of a dreamer. I’m slowly changing, but I’m picking up the pace to make sure my changes will last until I have to change again for the better.

Gotta keep moving which is why I took this photo. You have to move on from the past, get away from the present and move to the future you want. Everyday counts, everything you do must not be in vain or a short term pleasure.

I’m moving and I swear on everything I love that I will have the future that I want.

Go with love,

David

D49 – Reflection

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Explored a new are today and caught this photo while on this adventure. I’m working up to walk 4 miles a day, at the moment I walk two and a half miles. I enjoyed playing with the shadows and nature as I was deeply thinking. I am focusing on not being lazy with the photographs and plan the shots out more.

Watched the NBA All-Star game and was highly disappointed in more than one way. I realized I that I must take my craft seriously every single time I pick up my camera and I must put out the best work I can every single time I upload something. Also, I need to relax and be more laid-back and enjoy life.

Things are starting to become clearer to me and my path is starting to form as I dig through life. Made some changes but I must change more things to become the best version of myself.  I will continue to work smart and to work hard, this is my promise to myself.

Live well,

David