Was walking towards the beach when I took this shot but it wasn’t until I was editing the shot did I think about flipping it upside down. It’s something I haven’t done before with color photography but I was like “what the hell”. My third trip to San Francisco was about exploring and being open. I accomplished that and I believe I took a step towards improving my photography as well. Chalk this shot up to me experimenting with my craft.
Tried to rest as much as I can today. Not only was it going to be 108 degrees today but it’s my only day off for 4 days. So I really haven’t properly rested since returning from my trip. I feel like I am still catching up. I often sit and wonder what I should do. The night before, I tend to think of something I will force myself to do. Today, it was walking to Walmart (a mile and a half away), riding my motorcycle to the library and to the post office before I could lay down. I find this helps with the emptiness I feel at times as I struggle to find something to do.
I actually favor my life on the trip, being able to go wherever I wanted and to do what I wanted. I took care of myself and walked everywhere. All I did while there was eat, shoot photos, took some videos, walked, and shopped. It was a fun experience that taught me a lot about myself. Like what I don’t like and do like about traveling, what really interests, yada yada. Basically, I learned where I stand and where I want to be. I am still a little lost but I am okay with that. I’m not rushing leaving the job that I currently have as for now it will be the foundation that allows me to pursue a career that I actually want.
There are no real paths in life because it’s made up. Your path is whatever you choose it to be. I could create a path to become a teacher or a programmer if I simply decided to. We are taught that paths are always clear. Here I am 27 years old about to turn 28 next month and I’m basically clueless. Or am I simply afraid of failing? Afraid of facing fears of communication? Submitting to my anxiety about certain social situations? The trip really gave me time to think and now I spent the last few days reflecting. I’m spending less time on my phone diving into YouTube and online manga. I’m truly allowing myself to think and force myself to sit down and simply think.
It’s one of the hardest things that I have ever done. After a while, I have the urge to do what I need to do or to do something that I want to do. I may get up for a while and pace but I force myself to sit back down and write out my thoughts and give me insight to where I am suppose to go from here.
My shot is suppose to represent me turning my world upside down and exploring life with no filters. Seeing what is truly inside of me as I decide to make my own path. It’s all just a decision and I have to make mine very soon.
Peace and sweet dreams,