Day 11 – Failure & Goals

black and white photography, Portrait photography, street photography

On my trip, me and my friend decided to walk from our hotel to the beach which was about an hour and forty-five minutes away. So this shot at the beach is a sign of victory of achieving that small goal. I took a few more shots at the beach that I will share later. I like this shot. There is a good amount of fog and the horizon isn’t in the center of the shot. I was simply focusing on trying to capture the birds flying away . A very natural shot.

Didn’t do much today which is why I consider today a failure, however, that’s do to me being critical of myself. I did review hiragana and katakana before work and was more social at work than normal. The failure comes down to the fact that after coming home from work I just took a nap until dinnertime then took another nap and it was 8pm. I have a 5am to 2pm shift tomorrow so I did my best to cram a decent amount of stuff in the last two hours so I can still make a little improvements.

My main focus was setting up a plan that I can follow. I did a rough draft of one but I will do research tomorrow and compile a better plan and the motivation and dedication I will need to fulfil the plan. On an another note, I did show up here and wrote a post so that’s a plus in my book as well. It’s been 11 days, I am surprised that I was able to write while on my trip with the shaky hotel wifi and the lagging data. I had to upload without photos then go back and add the photos because they can’t failing to upload.

It just shows me that its simply a matter of me putting in the work. I can continue to write for this blog as long as I want to as long as I put time into it and force myself to sit down even when I don’t want to or when I try to submit to my guilty pleasures. I know that now and will continue to try to improve my mental game and my focus on the things that I need to do and what I have to do in order to achieve the creative goals I have and the life that I want.

On a side note, I might be going back to SF in October to go watch BabyMetal in concert there. They will play in Sacramento but the tickets cost 200+ dollars for a basic seat as they will be performing with Slipknot. So I’m going for the SF one (hopefully) after talking with my co-worker who brought up that BabyMetal will be in SF.

I’ll end it here for now. Gotta take action and give my brain some rest to kick ass tomorrow.

Sleep well and kick ass,

David

Day 9 -Not Fully Creating

architecture photography, food photography
Japantown experiment

A figure that I’ve taken many shots of over my three trips to SF. This one is my best yet of this subject. I like how it’s in the center of the shot but it’s not completely straight. I like the lighting and the repetition that the structure holds as you continue to look up to the top. I am highly critical work of my work but I do find myself enjoying this shot. I can see that I am experimenting more with angles and light. I worked hard to achieve this shot and it shows me that I can push myself further.

So I’m not fully creating stuff. I don’t take photos everyday but I write everyday. I write story outlines, random ideas, and envision the life that I want in my head. I do feel a little lost but I’m coming to terms with where I want to be. It scares me, the idea of asking people if I can take their photos or even advertising myself scares me. I am terrible with most social situations and most people look at me with repulsion or anger.

I have stepped out of my comfort zone by taking photos like the ones I’ve shown of my trips. I have showcased some of my work out there on the internet. I haven’t been too successful and now I’m at a standstill. I know where I want to go but I don’t always know what I want to create. So I often just consume YouTube or food. I dive into a good K-drama that I don’t want to break away from when I really would want to make them. I write stories that I toss away or lock away afraid to show them for fear of rejection.

I wrote for an anime review site, in two months I wrote five articles: Top 10 Saddest Anime Deaths, Top 5 Good Manga Gone Bad, A Sweet Wonderland: Alice & Zuroko Review, Top 10 Underrated Sports Manga, and Experience a Kind World: Comic Girls Review. Two of them failed to reach 100 shares. Both all of them reached more than 10 shares. I attempted to write for another Japanese culture based website but I failed to act quick enough because I postponed it. So now my connection with that website is gone.

I suffer from being too hard on myself and not having confidence as a creator. I suck at drawing but I have a knack for writing. I’ve shown poetry to people online that told me that my poems made them cry or smile. I truly loved that but I don’t think I fully believe them. Even the people who ripped on my artwork told me that my poems were good. I still didn’t believe it and just choose to continue to write in my own world.

Now here I am, 27 years (I’m always bringing up my age) and I’m working a job in food production at a retail company. I have a Facebook page with 101 followers that I barely do updates on and a few Instagram accounts that I neglect as well. I’ve started free blogs focused on Kpop entertainment news and movie reviews. So it’s not like I haven’t done anything but I really haven’t gotten too far on my path. I need to figure out how to instill more confidence in myself by simply putting my work out there and busting my ass off until I prove to myself that I am truly good at what I am doing and can be great. I have to take action now…

Enough ranting for now. Enjoy your time and fight well,

David

Day 2 – Tests: Fear & Excitement

architecture photography, black and white photography
Looking up in Japantown

A shot that I would like to re-edit and shoot from another angle. I like to show these kind of photos but it makes me see my mistakes and when I can improve. Plus it helps me to be open to criticism.

Tomorrow, I will be heading to San Francisco. I am smiling as I write this as I can’t wait. It’s almost at the level of a little kid staying up on Christmas Eve too excited to sleep. Thinking about this small journey made it easier to get through work. I’ll be using these four days to rest and to test out rather or not am I am still passionate about pursuing film and photography.

I have given myself until December 1st of this year to test about my passions for photography and video. If I can’t make anything happen by December 1st of this year then I will join the military or apply to a job that I wouldn’t normally take. I have to create a sense of urgency in order to be able to actually accomplish something. I treat this blog as a test for me to continue to be in this world.

Passion is one thing but if I don’t have the work ethic and if I don’t get off my ass then what’s the point, right? I chose to improve this area of my life while also improving my health and fitness. I have goals now and I must give my all to achieve them. I chose photography as I really love the craft and I chose film because I love films. However, besides starting this blog I haven’t done anything in these two fields.

I’ve been listening to quite a few motivational videos which gave me the idea to give me the sense of urgency and to get off my ass. Motivation is alright but dedication and a good work ethic is what truly matters in the long run. If I fail, I will have to consider what place in my life do these passions take. Are they truly passions or hobbies? Only experience will tell me as I dive deep into these two genres of art.

Let’s shake things up a bit.

Peace,

David

Day 6 – Tired and Reach

Uncategorized

I’ve always liked to take photos of things that people generally don’t pay any special attention to. This was heightened after reading a Japanese photobook called “The Discovery of Ruins”. It is completely in Japanese but each page contains a single sentence. Now that my Japanese is better, I am able to translate it a bit. I would like to have included more of the top of this structure but it’s fine. I treat this shot like a learning experience to improve my skills and my eye for composition plus the other principles. This was taken in Japantown SF.

Was quite tired today, wasn’t able to get everything done. But the things that I did do, I gave my all to. Hopefully, I can put in more work tomorrow. I need to work smarter and do better. I am trying to reach out to take the things that I want and what I need. It’s a slow process and I am in the unknown part of life but I have to accept that and do what I can.

Sleep well,

David

Day 2 – Change

architecture photography, black and white photography

This was an experimental shot that I took shortly after buying new gear. I was on my way back from Chinatown when I needed to take a pit stop at a McDonalds. When I was finished doing business me and party went back up some stairs and I took this shot. You can’t really see but on the left you can see a long line of people. They are waiting in line for a boba shop. I like this shot, it would be good to use if I shot a black and white short film.

I am adjusting to my new lifestyle. I am working later in the day but at random times for the most part. Tomorrow, I work from 6am to 3pm. The job sucks but time flies by faster than my previous role at the company. My focus right now is to lose weight and to find my purpose. I am looking for another job but I know that I need to give my all to my health and purpose in order to find the career that I will truly like despite the shit that may come with it.

I’m trying to embrace my fears and slightly go beyond my edge. I am making the right steps, I have to plan out my day better and give 100% focus to whatever task that I am doing. I have been practicing but I have a long way to go.

I’m afraid but I’m learning to kiss that fear and continue moving forward with my life. I’ll do my best until I drop for the last time and even then I’ll die trying to get up than die laying still.

Gotta French kiss life,

David

Day 1 – Rise…Again

architecture photography, black and white photography

After checking into my hotel in San Francisco I took this shot while looking around. I like the shot as I like the detail and the leading lines present in the shot. It would be pretty cool if the sun or the moon was above this building but I’ll take it as it is.

Failed to blog for thirty days straight but I’m back to start the process over again. It doesn’t matter if you fail, it’s all about how you get back up again. I have started my new position at the same company. It’s been a weird to adjust as it’s quite different than my previous position. The positive side is that I am less tired when I get home, however, the key is to force myself to do something after work or else I’ll take a nap.

I’ve been preparing for my next San Fran trip which will be on August 9th. Working hard to lose weight and get everything in order. Focusing on my health then my career and passions. I decided to continue and look for a starting point for another career. I’ll also been launching after blog in a few days. Anyway, got a lot of stuff planned now it’s time to execute.

Touch the sky,

David

Day 15 – Progress

black and white photography, street photography

A shot I took on a whim. A little kid was nice enough to wave and was super excited that I was taking the photo. I wasn’t going to but I decided to take the shot. I like street photography as you can have so many characters in one shot. The kid happily waving, the little girl kicking her foot out as an older woman looks at her. The woman on the far left digging into her purse as she waits for the light to turn and even the guy on the far right looking at his phone. It’s probably not a shot I would have taken a few years ago but it shows my progress and rising confidence as a photographer.

Getting sleepy but I will give my all to write this. Tomorrow, will be the last time I will be a warehouse associate. Starting Saturday I will be a production associate thus higher pay and different hours. The only problem is that my hours are varied so they will different for almost every shift. I will stay in this new position for up to six months at the most. I’m going to be improving my education status and trying to find/or start a career that I can truly enjoy. I’ll do my best to create other streams of revenue and save up money from my day job.

I’ve seen drastic improvements in my habits and lifestyle. I’m steadily becoming more active and creating more. It’s still a long road but I am looking forward to continuing this journey.

Peace and love,

David